man I feel super poop today which is SO DUMB because today has been really good! like we went to a church this morning that claimed to be Church of Christ but they had instruments and clapping so ehhhhh but it was still pretty decent and then we went on a picnic to a really cool garden place that we have here and it was great and we took a nap on this pretty field and then we went back to my apartment and watched Undercover Boss which is great and I cry every single dang time ugh man but no overall that sounds like a super good day, right? Only I feel shaky and I feel sick and I feel stupid and I don’t want to move or get up or exist and I hate that and I keep thinking about things I hate about myself and it’s just really sucky man because I have no reason to be sad, you know? and I’ve been keeping record of my emotions lately because my counselor wants me to record them every day for 2 weeks and then we’re gonna review them and decide if antidepressants are right for me and so now that I see how often I feel bad it’s just super crappy and it makes me more aware and I don’t like it and just BLEHHH I don’t need to feel badddddddd

also we went to a big ~college party~ last night and I just don’t get the appeal also I accidentally got us all kicked out because one of the hosts was a MASSIVE douchebag and he made this rude joke that was super condescending and mean to my friend and then was like, “get it? It’s funny, right?” and I was like, “nope not at all!” because wow douchebag grow up and so he then yelled, “well then you can get the fuck out! No, really, this is my house so get the fuck out!” so then we left and I felt bad but also it was kind of funny because wow way to be a complete and total douchebag, guy

but yeah so that’s my life

  1. twelveclara said: you should come to my college parties, we get drunk and sit on the floor and talk about european culture
  2. myeyestoserve said: College parties ARE dumb. At no point in your life will you look back and thing, “Man, I wish I’d gone to more shitty college parties with cheap beer and lousy conversation.”
  3. myarmsareridiculous posted this